Sheri and Bob Stritof: Marriage Guides on About.com

Sheri and Bob Stritof write the Marriage site on About.com (marriage.about.com).  Since the two of them are experts about relationships and marriage, we figured they’d have some important things to share about dating as well.

How did you meet?

We met at Bob’s home because his sister and I were sorority sisters. Bob was throwing a bachelor’s party for his friend who was getting married the next day. Wanting to avoid all the noise at her home, Donna and I had stopped by the house to get some things so she could spend the night at my house. Bob was feeling no pain, and asked me out on a dare from his best friend. I said yes because I didn’t want to argue with a drunk guy. The next evening he called to say he was running a bit late because of the wedding reception. I was shocked to hear from him and rushed around to get ready for our first date. When people ask us how we met and we say we met at a bachelor’s party, we get odd looks. Then I tell them I jumped out of the cake … and smile.

Sheri and Bob, you’ve been the Guides to marriage on About.com since 1997. Aside from 48 years of marriage, how did you become marriage experts? 

We started working with married couples in 1974 by presenting on Marriage Encounter weekends and Engaged Encounter weekends. Through the years, we were asked to present workshops on relationships and family issues, both to secular and religious groups. We have worked with other folks who worked with marriage experts and we’ve attended many workshops ourselves. We’ve tried to put into practice what we learned from the workshops and going back to college for my Master’s and from others’ mistakes.

You’ve been married for 48 years. Can you tell me about your first date?

Sheri: Our first date was in a downtown Las Vegas casino lounge. It was a very loud environment and we could barely hear what the other was saying.

Bob: It was a rushed event because I had to rush from a wedding reception where I was the best man to meet Sheri on time.

What about one of your favorite date memories?

Sheri: Early in our relationship Bob drove us up to the mountains just north of Las Vegas and we sat in the car and watched for falling stars.

Bob: I remember going to the Flamingo Show Room to see Red Skelton and getting thrown out because Sheri wasn’t old enough to be there. I felt bad for her, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

How did you know that the other was “marriage material?” 

Sheri: Bob had 50% ownership of a house he had built with a friend of his. He seemed ambitious and responsible and he drove a cool Thunderbird. Bob: I wasn’t looking for marriage material … I was looking for a date.

What kinds of advice would you give to someone who is dating with the intention of meeting the person they want to marry? 

Bob: Look for what you have in common and honestly evaluate where you are different. Get beyond the cute little walk, nice figure, etc. and get to know the person behind what originally attracted you physically.

Sheri: Be careful that you don’t stack the deck against a person by expecting this person to meet all your “requirements.”

Why is it important, even for long-term couples and married couples to go out on dates?

Bob: You never finish getting to know one another and need the opportunity to connect without kids around.

Sheri: Every couple needs to keep romance alive and dating one another or having a weekend away provides time for romance and tenderness and hand holding, etc.

You’ve even written the book on marriage. What kind of information will people find The Everything Great Marriage Book?

Bob: Folks will find hints on how to make their marriage work no matter where they are on their journey and information on when it isn’t working and what to do. There’s a lot of information in our book on how to go from having a good marriage to having a great marriage.

Sheri: There is advice for all married couples, both newlyweds and long-term couples, as well as couples who are in their second or third marriages, and for widows.